i dont understand....why??

he has no idea what he's done, does he...i realize he told me about them and deleted them, but that doesnt help the fact that he took the pictures without asking me, without getting my permission! i thought he had more respect for me than that. now i feel like he doesn't respect me...if he knew it would wreck the mood (meaning i wouldnt be ok with it), yet he decided to go ahead and do it anyway, what else am i supposed to think? i trusted him, dammit...i trusted him with something he KNEW i wasnt really that comfortable with. i trusted him not to hurt me...but now i know that i was foolish. he's just a typical guy after all...i thought he was one of those rare guys who actually understood things like respect...i guess i was wrong. does he realize how hard it will be for me to trust him now? i feel like that's how he views me now...just an attractive body for him to jerk off to and to show to his friends...i feel like he doesn't love me, just my body...i just cant believe this happened :'(

and yeah i know he'll think im overreacting, but this is honestly what is going through my mind right now...

thoughts

so my boyfriend wanted me to put something more happy in here, because all i ever seem to write about is my thoughts when im upset over something. i've really tried to stay happy when im talking to him but when im not i cant help but feel sad and depressed and lonely most of the time. i have no idea what's wrong. on top of that i'm taking a parenting course and learning about the early symptoms of pregnancy, and so naturally im worrying about everything being a possible symptom even though there's really no way i could be pregnant.

i dont know why im getting so depressed all the time, but i feel like i should just give up and quit trying...in friendships, in love, in everything...i dont know how to handle this anymore. sure, i'll feel cheerful for a little while, but then i get depressed so quickly...